Within our practice, one of the main reasons couples tend to seek out therapy is due to Infidelity.
Interestingly, different couples have different ideas of what Infidelity means in their own relationship.
For a Therapist, Infidelity is any action that violates, exploits or undermines an agreement between two people.
Infidelity can fall into many categories, some of these are:
But let's qualify exactly what Infidelity is
For some Infidelity is when a trusted partner has sexual intercourse with another person, outside of the established relationship. For others, Infidelity can be breaking an unwritten agreement between two parties. This can mean trust is broken when a partners gaze lingers on another too long, a random kiss, an emotional attachment or a very close friendship with a person outside of the relationship, which may be of an intimate nature. Fantasizing, watching pornography and 'sexting' are also often termed Infidelity.
The most commonly cited cause of Infidelity is a sense of emotional disconnection from a partner.
The person committing the infidelity will often describe having felt unappreciated, lonely, and sad. These emotions can lead to secondary feelings of anger and resentment.
Can a relationship survive Infidelity?
The answer is yes and no, depending on the individuals involved. Some couples see the Infidelity as a starting point to rebuild and reconnect after acknowledging the relationship may have been in trouble, prior to the event.
For others, the act of Infidelity undermines any further trust in the relationship. The ensuing fall out from Infidelity is often too much for some couples and after carefully examining options, some choose to leave the relationship, fearing it may occur again or feeling too emotionally vulnerable to reinvest back into the same relationship.
Our aim at HCC is to provide safe avenues to explore whether the relationship is repairable or irreparable while holding space for both partners to freely express emotions.
To find out WHY affairs happen and the 7 Different Types, please read Vicki's latest Blog