Hills Couples Counselling

Suite 58, 15-17 Terminus Street Castle Hill.  0406 456 643.

Separation

The emotional response to the ending of a relationship is not always linked to the length of the relationship.  The emotional impact of ending a relationship of a few weeks can be as traumatic as the conclusion of a very long-term relationship.  

Circumstances are different for everyone,  and the meaning of the relationship to the individual can vary greatly.

The loss or demise of a relationship is a life event which can elicit a very broad range of emotions. Many people are shocked and disappointed, even heartbroken, while others may be relieved, optimistic and resigned to moving on. 

In some cases, people refer to separation as a failure, however, it is important to remember that in some cases, electing to end a relationship which is beyond repair can be a healthy choice, particularly when there is little chance of an improved connection between the couple.

One of the most crucial things to understand when separation occurs is that many people hold the belief that love is eternal and love should find a way, but in reality, love is capable of both growing and fading.  

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Common thoughts after Separation

Common Thoughts after Separation:

I can't survive alone

I'll never meet anyone else
It's bad to hurt someone
I must be to blame

If only I tried harder
I failed
I wasn't good enough
I'm too old, fat, ugly, short, tall, etc


While these thoughts and feelings are completely normal during a Separation, if you become stuck or find yourself ruminating over one particular statement or feeling, it may be time to seek out professional assistance.


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The Grief Process

Stages of Grief


Shock and Denial
Anger
Guilt and Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

The Tasks of Grief
Tear Model

T
o accept the reality of the loss 
Experience the pain of the loss
Adjust to the new environment 
Reinvest in the new reality

At HCC we can assist you to move through the often painful stages of grief when a relationship ends. 

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